第六章（第2/9页）

"Not much," she said truthfully.

“也没什么吸引力。”她坦言。

"Then let's leave it all alone, and just be decent and simple, like proper human beings with one another. Be damned to the artificial sex-compulsion! I refuse it!” Connie knew he was right, really. Yet it left her feeling so forlorn, so forlorn and stray. Like a chip on a dreary pond, she felt. What was the point, of her or anything? It was her youth which rebelled. These men seemed so old and cold. Everything seemed old and cold. And Michaelis let one down so; he was no good. The men didn't want one; they just didn't really want a woman, even Michaelis didn't.

“那么不妨听其自然，做个情操高尚的纯粹之人，真诚得体地对待彼此。至于那些矫揉造作的性爱欲求，就让它们见鬼去吧！我不会与之有任何干系！”康妮清楚他说的的确在理。但她却深感凄清孤寂，惆怅迷惘。好似荒凉池塘中摇摆的草芥。她或者是其他任何事物，存在的意义又是什么呢？体内的青春气息不甘屈服，奋起抗争。这些男人们都显得苍老而又冷酷。万事万物也似乎都陈腐且寡然无味。米凯利斯伤透女人的心，他实在不是理想的对象。男人不愿跟女人纠缠，他们对异性无甚兴趣，甚至连米凯利斯都是如此。

And the bounders who pretended they did, and started working the sex game, they were worse than ever.

而那些装作沉浸其中、好为性事的下流胚，更是不可原谅。

It was just dismal, and one had to put up with it. It was quite true, men had no real glamour for a woman: if you could fool yourself into thinking they had, even as she had fooled herself over Michaelis, that was the best you could do. Meanwhile you just lived on and there was nothing to it. She understood perfectly well why people had cocktail parties, and jazzed, and Charlestoned till they were ready to drop. You had to take it out some way or other, your youth, or it ate you up. But what a ghastly thing, this youth! You felt as old as Methuselah, and yet the thing fizzed somehow, and didn't let you be comfortable. A mean sort of life! And no prospect! She almost wished she had gone off with Mick, and made her life one long cocktail party, and jazz evening. Anyhow that was better than just mooning yourself into the grave.

这确实令人沮丧，但除了忍受也别无他法。千真万确，对女人来说，男人全无吸引力可言：若你掩耳盗铃，幻想他们依然魅力非凡，甚至像康妮那样被米凯利斯蒙蔽双眼，这倒也是自我安慰的妙招。但即使如此，你仍只是浑噩度日，生活依然空洞虚无。她彻底弄明白，人们为何流连鸡尾酒会，醉心爵士乐，狂跳查尔斯顿舞，直到精疲力竭，才肯罢休。你得想尽方法挥霍自己的青春，否则就只能被它活活吞噬。青春多么地可怕呀！你感觉自己如玛士撒拉（注：《圣经·创世记》中的人物,据传享年９６９岁）般老态龙钟，但那东西却在体内翻腾奔涌，使你不得安生。何等庸碌的生活啊！看不到半点希望！她甚至后悔当初没跟米克一走了之，将生活变成声色犬马的无尽长夜。那也比虚度光阴，郁郁而终要强。

On one of her bad days she went out alone to walk in the wood, ponderously, heeding nothing, not even noticing where she was. The report of a gun not far off startled and angered her.

某个情绪低落的日子，康妮独自去林中散步，心事满腹，漫无目的地走着，甚至没留意自己身在何处。不远处的一声枪响将她惊醒，也让她心头火起。

Then, as she went, she heard voices, and recoiled. People! She didn't want people. But her quick ear caught another sound, and she roused; it was a child sobbing. At once she attended; someone was ill-treating a child. She strode swinging down the wet drive, her sullen resentment uppermost. She felt just prepared to make a scene.

她循音觅去，耳边传来说话声，不禁有些畏缩。有人！她不愿碰到任何人。可她灵敏的耳朵却捕捉到另一种声响，不由得警惕起来；那是孩子的抽泣声。她立即警觉起来，准是什么人在虐待孩子。她沿着潮湿的马道，快步向前走去，满腔的怒火已经不可抑止。她知道自己准要大吵大闹一番。

Turning the corner, she saw two figures in the drive beyond her: the keeper, and a little girl in a purple coat and moleskin cap, crying.

转过弯，她看到马道上出现两个人的身影：那护林人，和一个身穿紫色外套、头戴斜纹棉帽的小女孩，发出哭声正是她。

"Ah, shut it up, tha false little bitch!" came the man's angry voice, and the child sobbed louder.

“呀，闭嘴，臭丫头！”那男人怒气冲冲地呵斥着，孩子的哭声更响了。

Constance strode nearer, with blazing eyes. The man turned and looked at her, saluting coolly, but he was pale with anger.

康斯坦斯大步走到近前，怒目横眉。那男人转过脸看着他，态度冷淡地躬身施礼，脸气得煞白。

"What's the matter? Why is she crying?" demanded Constance, peremptory but a little breathless.

“怎么回事？她为什么啼哭？”康斯坦斯逼问道，语气斩钉截铁，但心里还是不免有些不敢大声出气。

A faint smile like a sneer came on the man's face. "Nay, yo mun ax'er," he replied callously, in broad vernacular.

那男人脸上闪过一丝睥睨的微笑。“恁自己去问她就是。”他冷冷地答道，仍操着那口浓重的方言。

Connie felt as if he had hit her in the face, and she changed colour. Then she gathered her defiance, and looked at him, her dark blue eyes blazing rather vaguely.

康妮感觉像挨了一记耳光，气得颜色更变。她调动起所有轻蔑，瞪着眼前的男人，可深蓝色双眸中闪烁着的光芒依然游移。

"I asked you," she panted.

“我问的是你。”她呼吸急促。

He gave a queer little bow, lifting his hat. "You did, your Ladyship," he said; then, with a return to the vernacular: "but I canna tell yer." And he became a soldier, inscrutable, only pale with annoyance.

他扬起帽子，姿势怪异地轻鞠一躬。“没错，夫人，”他说，接着又换成那套土腔土调，“可俺不能不告诉恁。”此刻的他俨然变成战士，难以捉摸，只是因为恼怒而面色铁青。

Connie turned to the child, a ruddy, black-haired thing of nine or ten. "What is it, dear? Tell me why you're crying!" she said, with the conventionalized sweetness suitable. More violent sobs, self-conscious. Still more sweetness on Connie's part.

康妮转向那女孩，小姑娘大概九岁或十岁，脸蛋红扑扑的，头发乌黑。“怎么回事，宝贝？告诉我你为什么哭。”她换上哄小孩的温柔口吻。或许是感觉有所倚靠，孩子哭得更凶了。而康妮的态度则愈发温和。