第九章

Connie was surprised at her own feeling of aversion from Clifford. What is more, she felt she had always really disliked him. Not hate: there was no passion in it. But a profound physical dislike. Almost, it seemed to her, she had married him because she disliked him, in a secret, physical sort of way. But of course, she had married him really because in a mental way he attracted her and excited her. He had seemed, in some way, her master, beyond her.

康妮对克利福德的厌恶与日俱增，这使她惊讶不已。更有甚者，她发觉自己压根没有喜欢过他。那并非憎恨，只是缺乏激情。在肉体的层面，对他深恶痛绝。甚至她觉得自己嫁给他，正是因为厌恶他，在肉体的维度，秘而不宣地厌恶他。当然，她与他缔结连理，确实是因为他能在精神上吸引她，振奋她。在某种程度上，他似乎扮演着她的支配者的角色。

Now the mental excitement had worn itself out and collapsed, and she was aware only of the physical aversion. It rose up in her from her depths: and she realized how it had been eating her life away.

如今，精神愉悦已经消耗殆尽，土崩瓦解，她只能感觉到肉体的反感。这种感觉源自内心深处，她体验到自己的生命逐渐被蚕食。

She felt weak and utterly forlorn. She wished some help would come from outside. But in the whole world there was no help. Society was terrible because it was insane. Civilized society is insane. Money and so-called love are its two great manias; money a long way first. The individual asserts himself in his disconnected insanity in these two modes: money and love. Look at Michaelis! His life and activity were just insanity. His love was a sort of insanity.

她觉得虚弱无力，极为绝望无依。她盼着能得到他人的帮助。但整个世界都没人施以援手。这个疯狂的社会变得不可救药。文明社会陷入癫狂。金钱和虚伪的爱情，是人类狂热追求的两大目标，而金钱则扮演着更为重要的角色。每个人都在追爱逐利的不同道路上争先恐后，疯狂到不能自持的地步。米凯利斯就是个活生生的例子！他的生活与行为都只能用疯癫来界定。他的爱情都有几分疯气。

And Clifford the same. All that talk! All that writing! All that wild struggling to push himself forwards! It was just insanity. And it was getting worse, really maniacal.

克利福德也是一丘之貉。所有的空谈！所有的作品！所有为争名逐利而做出的狂乱举动！都不过是疯癫的表现。甚至变本加厉，变得无药可医。

Connie felt washed-out with fear. But at least, Clifford was shifting his grip from her on to Mrs. Bolton. He did not know it. Like many insane people, his insanity might be measured by the things he was not aware of the great desert tracts in his consciousness.

恐惧让康妮感觉精疲力竭。但至少，克利福德正将束缚从她那里移开，转嫁到博尔顿太太身上。他对此毫无觉察。像许多疯子一样，从他意识领域缺失的部分，便可判断出其癫狂的程度，那是他精神世界的无垠荒漠。

Mrs. Bolton was admirable in many ways. But she had that queer sort of bossiness, endless assertion of her own will, which is one of the signs of insanity in modern woman. She thought she was utterly subservient and living for others. Clifford fascinated her because he always, or so often, frustrated her will, as if by a finer instinct. He had a finer, subtler will of self-assertion than herself. This was his charm for her.

在许多方面，博尔顿太太确实值得赞赏。但她却有种无端的控制欲，总愿意阐明自己的主张，这恰恰是现代女性疯癫的表现之一。她认为自己无比恭顺，处处先人后己。克利福德让她意乱情迷，因为他似乎总能，或者说常能发挥更加敏锐的直觉，使她屈从于自己的意志。他比她更加固执己见，独断专行。而这也正是他吸引她的地方。

Perhaps that had been his charm, too, for Connie.

或许这也曾是他令康妮为之着迷的地方。

"It's a lovely day, today!” Mrs. Bolton would say in her caressive, persuasive voice. "I should think you'd enjoy a little run in your chair today, the sun's just lovely.” "Yes? Will you give me that book—there, that yellow one. And I think I'll have those hyacinths taken out.” "Why they're so beautiful! " She pronounced it with the "y" sound: be-yutiful! "And the scent is simply gorgeous." "The scent is what I object to," he said. "It's a little funereal.” "Do you think so!" she exclaimed in surprise, just a little offended, but impressed. And she carried the hyacinths out of the room, impressed by his higher fastidiousness.

“今天天气多棒呀！”博尔顿太太的口吻极为亲昵，循循善诱。“依我看，您不妨驾着轮椅，出去兜上一小圈，太阳如此明媚。”“是么？把那本书递给我——那儿，那本黄色封皮的。把那些风信子拿出去。”“为什么？它们那样美丽！”她的发音并不规范，总是把美丽念成“米丽”。“那香味更是让人心醉。”“我讨厌的就是那味道。”他说。“感觉好像置身葬礼现场。”“您这样认为呀！”她惊讶地感叹道，虽然有些不悦，但也只能按照吩咐行事。她把风信子拿出房间，对爵爷的吹毛求疵深有感触。

"Shall I shave you this morning, or would you rather do it yourself?" Always the same soft, caressive, subservient, yet managing voice.

“今天早上，我来给您刮脸？还是您亲自动手？”语气依然轻柔亲切，恭敬顺服，但又力争将局势控制在可掌控的范围内。

"I don't know. Do you mind waiting a while. I'll ring when I'm ready.” "Very good, Sir Clifford!" she replied, so soft and submissive, withdrawing quietly. But every rebuff stored up new energy of will in her.

“我不知道。再等会儿可以吗？我做好准备，就按铃通知你。”“遵命，克利福德爵士！”她应道，语调温柔婉转，毕恭毕敬，然后悄无声息地退出房间。但每次碰壁都会使她的意志有所增强。

When he rang, after a time, she would appear at once. And then he would say: "I think I'd rather you shaved me this morning.” Her heart gave a little thrill, and she replied with extra softness: "Very good, Sir Clifford!" She was very deft, with a soft, lingering touch, a little slow. At first he had resented the infinitely soft touch of her lingers on his face. But now he liked it, with a growing voluptuousness. He let her shave him nearly every day: her face near his, her eyes so very concentrated, watching that she did it right. And gradually her fingertips knew his cheeks and lips, his jaw and chin and throat perfectly. He was well-fed and well-liking, his face and throat were handsome enough and he was a gentleman.