第十九章（第4/9页）

"He wants to begin his revenge on you," he said, handing the letter back.

“他正盘算着如何报复你。”他说完，把信交还给康妮。

Connie was silent. She was somewhat surprised to find that she was afraid of Clifford. She was afraid to go near him. She was afraid of him as if he were evil and dangerous.

康妮默默无语。不知何故，她发现自己居然害怕起克利福德来，这让她感到有些惊讶。她害怕靠近他。她害怕他，好像他是邪恶与危险的化身。

"What shall I do?" she said.

“我该怎么办？”她问。

"Nothing, if you don't want to do anything.” She replied, trying to put Clifford off. He answered: If you don't come back to Wragby now, I shall consider that you are coming back one day, and act accordingly. I shall just go on the same, and wait for you here, if I wait for fifty years. She was frightened. This was bullying of an insidious sort. She had no doubt he meant what he said. He would not divorce her, and the child would be his, unless she could find some means of establishing its illegitimacy.

“要是不想那样做，就不用理会他。”她回信给克利福德，试图推掉这次会面。他答复说：如果你现在不回拉格比，那么我会认为你总有一天会回来，履行你的诺言。我也将继续等下去，等你回到这里，哪怕等上50年。她显然被他唬住了。这可是种阴险恶毒的恐吓手段。她很清楚他话里的深意。他不会跟她离婚，孩子便将成为他的，除非她能证明其私生子的身份。

After a time of worry and harassment, she decided to go to Wragby. Hilda would go with her. She wrote this to Clifford. He replied: I shall not welcome your sister, but I shall not deny her the door. I have no doubt she has connived at your desertion of your duties and responsibilities, so do not expect me to show pleasure in seeing her. They went to Wragby. Clifford was away when they arrived. Mrs. Bolton received them.

烦恼焦虑过后，她决定去趟拉格比。希尔达愿意跟她同行。她写信告知克利福德。他回信说：我不欢迎你的姐姐，但我也不会将她拒之门外。我深信，你背信弃义的行为得到了她的纵容，因此，别希望我对她笑脸相迎。姐妹俩来到拉格比。恰逢克利福德外出。博尔顿太太出来迎接她们。

"Oh, your Ladyship, it isn't the happy homecoming we hoped for, is it!" she said.

“噢，夫人，这可并非我们期待的欣然归来，是吧？”她说。

"Isn't it?" said Connie.

“不是吗？”康妮反问。

So this woman knew! How much did the rest of the servants know or suspect? She entered the house, which now she hated with every fibre in her body. The great, rambling mass of a place seemed evil to her, just a menace over her. She was no longer its mistress, she was its victim.

这么说，这女人知道内情！其他的仆人又知道多少，怀着多少疑心呢？她踏进府邸，踏进这座她如今全身心憎恶着的府邸。对她而言，这庞大绵延的建筑似乎异常邪恶，时刻都在威吓着她。她不再是这里的女主人，反倒成为受难者。

"I can't stay long here," she whispered to Hilda, terrified.

“我不能多作停留。”她受惊匪浅，低声对希尔达说。

And she suffered going into her own bedroom, reentering into possession as if nothing had happened. She hated every minute inside the Wragby walls.

再次回到自己的卧房，康妮心里依然备受煎熬，她没法再度占据这房间，像什么都没发生一样。在拉格比多呆一分钟，都让她感到厌恶。

They did not meet Clifford till they went down to dinner. He was dressed, and with a black tie: rather reserved, and very much the superior gentleman. He behaved perfectly politely during the meal and kept a polite sort of conversation going: but it seemed all touched with insanity.

下楼吃晚餐的时候，她们才与克利福德碰面。他身着礼服，扎着黑色领结，态度矜持，摆出那副高傲的贵族派头。席间，他的行为举止相当客气，与姐妹俩交谈时也保持着文雅的仪态，但这一切都带着疯狂的色彩。

"How much do the servants know?" asked Connie, when the woman was out of the room.

“仆人们都知道多少？”趁博尔顿太太离开餐厅，康妮问。

"Of your intentions? Nothing whatsoever." "Mrs. Bolton knows." He changed colour.

“关于你的打算？我从未透露半句。”“博尔顿太太却了解内情。”他颜色更变。

"Mrs. Bolton is not exactly one of the servants," he said.

“准确的说，博尔顿太太并不属于仆人。”他说。

"Oh, I don't mind.” There was tension till after coffee, when Hilda said she would go up to her room.

“哦，我不会介意的。”剑拔弩张的气氛一直持续到用过咖啡，希尔达说要回房休息。

Clifford and Connie sat in silence when she had gone. Neither would begin to speak. Connie was so glad that he wasn't taking the pathetic line, she kept him up to as much haughtiness as possible. She just sat silent and looked down at her hands.

她离开以后，克利福德和康妮默默对坐。没人愿意首先打破僵局。他没有哭天抹泪，这让康妮感觉很欣慰，她始终配合着，使他尽量保持着趾高气昂的态度。她只是静静坐着，垂首望着自己的双手。

"I suppose you don't at all mind having gone back on your word?" he said at last.

“我希望你能收回自己说过的话。”他终于先开口。

"I can't help it," she murmured.

“我办不到。”她低声答道。

"But if you can't, who can?” "I suppose nobody." He looked at her with curious cold rage. He was used to her. She was as it were embedded in his will. How dared she now go back on him, and destroy the fabric of his daily existence? How dared she try to cause this derangement of his personality? "And for WHAT do you want to go back on everything?" he insisted.

“可如果你做不到，谁能呢？”“没人能做到这一点。”他瞪着她，恼羞成怒的样子让人不寒而栗。他习惯了她的存在。她就像深植于他自我意识之中。可现在，她怎么敢背弃他，破坏他正常的生活秩序呢？她怎么敢做出扰乱他人格的事呢？“到底是什么原因，让你选择了背叛？”他执着地想要知道答案。

"Love!" she said. It was best to be hackneyed.

“爱情！”她回答。这理由虽说老套，但却是敷衍搪塞的好招数。

"Love of Duncan Forbes? But you didn't think that worth having, when you met me. Do you mean to say you now love him better than anything else in life?” "One changes," she said.